Poem: Lie to me

We are afraid--

The world of us--to tell each other our secrets.
In hidden rooms, with jammed tight doors,
we suffer silently per protocol,
make messes of our messes.
if we would stand straight, eye to eye,
confessing our disaster...
 
Perhaps we'd find each other in our messes,
and our masses would seem masterfully drawn
together in the larger open spaces of our togetherness
where doors don't jam
and people cry
and laugh
and hold each other
 
instead of keeping secrets.

Walk the Talk

Over the last 60 days, I have been part of a challenge to become an expert in a specific area. I am working with a group of phenomenal women who are well-versed in such interesting and compelling areas such as sustainability, wellness, youth development, and education. I am even working with folks who are subject matter experts on paths less traveled such as lactation, gratitude, and astrology.

And then there is me. I am struggling still to define my area of expertise. 60 days into the challenge, I am clear that I am passionate about authenticity, but how does one demonstrate that? Unlike a fine art connoisseur, I can’t get ‘training’ on how to be an expert in authenticity. I don’t have a ‘kit’ like a forensics expert to assess the evidence I’m presented with on a daily basis. So what’s my gauge? My barometer?
Personal experience. I can’t say without a shadow of a doubt, that I can ‘teach’ someone else how to be authentic without first knowing that I am living my life as authentically as possible. What this means to me is that I am actively pursuing those things which I am passionate about and which I am good at doing. For as long as I can remember, my two greatest passions have been music and writing - not necessarily in that order.

I’ve sung for as long as I can remember (I even studied jazz and classical music) and I’ve been writing probably since I was 10--journaling, writing poetry and articles for various publications, etc. So in a quest to be more authentically myself, I am grounding myself in my poetry and in my music. I’ll dedicate a few posts not to me pontificating about what it means to be authentic, but just demonstrating it as best I can.

Do what you love. No excuses.

What stands between us and our ability to do the thing we love? Is it fear? Lack of conviction that we are good enough? The possibility of poverty or worse yet social or professional isolation? It is likely some combination of these three things, among a host of other reasons. And while these concerns are valid, they are not necessarily a foregone conclusion.

We are as likely to fail doing something we don't enjoy as we are doing something that brings us great personal satisfaction. Our passions are gifted to us and meant to be tended, like spiritual gardens. They are things which give us illogical bursts of energy on no sleep, and sustain us past the point of rationality when all else points to 'stop.' Passion is the fuel of meaningful contribution. Without it, what we contribute will always be some diminished version of what we are capable of giving. What we do is only a shade of what can accomplish. Passion is the differentiator between those who are merely accomplished and those who are undeniably extraordinary at what they do. It is the measure of a life examined and pursued and the lack of it forms a chasm which only the truly brave and relentlessly authentic may cross.

The following video (from 2 years ago, but still relevant) makes a very strong case for doing what what you love. The language is rough in a few spots but the sentiment is spot on.

Just Do Your Job

I just ended a conference call where I asked the question, "How much should I write in my blogposts?" You might ask, why would I ask anyone, as a blogger, how much I should write. I'd argue that the question is more, "How should I write?" The question is borne out of my concern, as a writer first, that I start in the intuitively 'correct' part of the story and share the appropriate amount of information in order to engage people.

The response to my question was, "Why are you asking that question?" Well I could have responded authentically to say that I am busy and may not have time to write epic posts about authenticity and living purposefully, both of which I fully intend to do at some point. I could have said that I want to know if it's enough to shout out some other less fearful writer/blogger's ideas without having 1,000 words to say on the topic. I could tell the truth - that I doubt myself and rather than trust that I will write what needs to be written, authentically, I'd like someone to just tell me what to do. Sigh, the journey will be long. Rather than wallow in my own analysis paralysis and 'self-talk', here's a video that I will be watching on repeat until I have internalized that I have to just start. Suspend judgment, breathe deeply, trust my instinct for authenticity and write.